I'm a mom to 3 usually healthy kids. I struggle with all things moms struggle with. Yesterday I spent half my day with some very precious children. Children I'd never thought would grab at my heart strings, almost as much as my own children are capable of doing.
A boy born with half a brain, 3 boys whose autism spanned the entire spectrum, a young lady with cerebral palsy, and others whose "special needs" don't even have a name. It took all my mental strength, and at times, me biting down on my lip, to not burst out in tears.
Learning and cognitive disabilities were far from my mind, my focus was on them, as beings. Their disabilities did not hide their endearing personalities.
What can I do to communicate with them? What can I do to help them? What can I do to love them? And then it became instinctive, my love would come out in the form of drool wiping, in handing over crayons so a fifth grader could color a map, love would pour out endlessly, almost as if I was their maternal mother.
As someone who likes to take pictures, it's typical for me to see God's beauty outside amongst the landscape of nature. It's possible at times to feel God's presence in a church setting on a Sunday morning, but if I could describe what I saw yesterday, it was God's marvelous creation in these middle school children.
Later that evening as I ran on the treadmill, my husband said he'd look over and see how hard I was running. I don't typically run hard, I hate exercise overall. I told him I was running from demons, from pain, from my heart that was breaking with those kids' faces on my mind and without question on my heart.
I kept thinking, "God, I love those kids."
My hardships are so puny in comparison, I only have an inkling of what a parent must go through seeing their child in this capacity. How this must weigh heavily in their lives.
My day which was hard on my heart, was perhaps necessary for my spirit. More lessons about thankfulness, blessings, and humility...
I don't know why these children moved me so much, I don't know why I did end up sobbing over them, all I know is they are a product of God's own hands and each of them, with their own personalities, are so wonderfully made.